As humanity is getting increasingly desperate for sources of money, and Libertarians and Republicans attack government and believe in the all wise virtues of a self-regulated free market, it’s time to point out the inefficiencies of the free market and call out the supervillains who exemplify corporate greed.

Oil drilling company Nabors Industries released a news story after the market close last Friday.

Now before even getting to what the news story was about, why the hell release after market close on a Friday?

Don’t you guys know that most of us are eating pizza, going out to eat, drinking beer, or watching movies on Friday’s after market close? I mean how dare you encroach on my TGIF lifestyle.

No seriously guys, anytime you see a company release a PR after the market close on a Friday, for one: it’s probably a piss release, and they’re releasing it into the Twilight Zone hoping most people will never see it.

The Nabors Industries PR was about how its CEO Eugene Isenberg would be stepping down.

This piss part of the release is that he’s taking a $100 million “contingent liability” payment.

To put this $100 million into perspective, that’s enough money to hire 3,333 new teachers for 1 year. It’s enough to pay the health insurance premiums for 9000 American families for 1 year. It’s enough to completely pay off over 2,000 peoples student loans.